this time ( I need a blogger editor)

So here i am drinking at 702 in the morning. I was out earlier (way earlier) and picked up some money that was owed to me from the night before. got the money got drunk. sat at bars like some fat despot...viewing my constituants (speeling is not my thing) I watched them laugh and smoke, like some zoo observer. Got drunk like I said, and went to a little bar called the nutty pub. I told the people at the bar that I was running for mayor and that the next time I came there i would have flyers and petitions. They all agreed that they would sign them and not throw them away when i placed them between thier windshield wipers and windshield (bug protector).
But through all this bullshit I was spitting, I think I actually got a job at this liitle bar. small bar. Dead. I think that I WONT turn it into a little hipster bar (like its my decision)...though hipsters drink and I like little hipster girls even though I look like F scott fitzgerald due to my attire. (so i dont fit in)
So anyway, got drunk (how many times must I say this?) and networked. So basically, I got a job. (the reason why I got a job was because i asked . I told them that I needed money for the electric bill.)
The drinkers thought I was witty and they bought me drinks and told me to come by the next day to see the owner, to finalize the deal...the BT showed me her tits and said, "You know you wanna come by again for this!"
I had to leave this wondeful establishment to get some food, so I borrowed the Bt's phone and called my neighborhood bar to order some food. (this bar, the one I was at, had no food but bar peanuts)...so I placed my order on her phone.
"hello, yes, is this *******?"
"Yes, it sure as hell is."
"I need food."
"What the fuck do you want."
"this is ricardo...so..."
"allright, fucking Ricardo, I will have your food ready. Dont show up here and offend motherfuckers, please?"
"Man, do I ever do that?"
"yes, you do, goodbye."
I left (is that right, left?) and walked down the street like some drunken reatard...smoking like some kinda elegant penguin. I arrived at this fucking bar and she wouldnt serve me but she let me take a six pack of beer to go and pay for the food (to go) and the beer. I tipped like a beast outta guilt.
I went home and attempted to watch "ROME" and ate, sitting on the couch petting the cat. I disrobed sitting in my boxers with my pager attatched to them. Fell asleep. Woke up at 5. And here I am drinking, smoking and spitting into a Kingsford charcoal bag so it doesnt stain the concrete of my back yard.