So a lot has changed since my last blog...and I know I have left my avid readers thirsting for more...so I will do it again, again until I become bored or the writing bug has gone away. The previous writings were all written on the back porch of a lady friend who I was staying with at the time. She would go to bed early and I would sit out there drinking beer, smoking and listening to music. The shady neighbors would come and go at all hours at the night and I would just nod at them with my headphones on. For some reason that back porch was my sanctuary in the wee hours of the night. No one to talk to...just the computer and the things that I mentioned earlier.
So the girl I was living with (boyfriend/girlfriend? Not really) was letting me stay rent free and I didn't even have a fucking job in the beginning. She recently just bought a house and some work needed to be done to it and since I had plenty of free time yours truly was assigned to do some home improvements.
I painted the whole inside of the house (a different color for like every room) tore down a wall, ripped up carpet, tried to install new locks for the front and back doors and some other little jobs. I was supposed to wake up early everyday and do these things but I always slept late because all the drinking I was doing in the evenings.
We were still living in an apartment in Charles Village and she would call me around noon and ask me If I were up yet. I would say no and she would laugh (she was easy to make laugh). So I would say that I was going to get up and go to the house and do some work. But after i got off the phone I went straight back to bed for another two hours.
I would eventually get up, put some dirty-ass clothes on not shower not brush my teeth head to the bar (good ole CVP) and have a couple beers and SMOKE! I miss those glorious smoking days but dont cry over split ashtrays. Then I would get a twelve to go and head on over to the "work site."
I still had a little money left over from the twenty grand from the accident but that shit was going fast. I blew probably ten grand alone in Fells Point were I still had a couch spot to call my own. I didn't go back there very often because one of my "roomates" kept on bitching for me to get a job. I mean I had plenty of money at the time and god knows how many bartabs I picked up for her. I just think she would get jealous that I had a beautiful tan from sitting up on the rooftop deck all day. I would just drink beer smoke pot and listen to music. Everyday I would go to the CD store and pick out a few Cd's and just chill up there all day and into the night. I would throw parties up there and I didnt even really live there.
So I wasnt really heading back to fells much then...I was low on money and I didnt want them to know. A new opportunity had arisen and I was going to see how long I could make it last.
So I started walking to the new house ready to throw in some hours painting. It was a hot as balls July day and I had to walk fifteen minutes to Hampdem. I would paint one wall and go out for a cigarette and a beer come back in and do a second coat and go out and smoke and drink again...ad naseum. Was no A/C in the house so I just sweated natty boh for three hours while I listened to the Melvins and painted...(Story about the tool...get the name of it) She would stop by after work check up on the work help me clean up and take me back to the apartment so I could start cooking dinner.
I think that was one reason why I was kept around so long...I could cook. But I was limited because she was a vegetarian. But i made do. She liked the eggs I cooked...onion tabasco sometimes some sour cream or cheese...my pastas and my secret recipe for tuna fish salad. Plus I was a man (sort of) and could do things around the house. Fix things, take out the garbage, sort the recycling, do the dishes deal with the crazy neighbors etc. I also could drink with best of them and I would get drunk tell stories, crack jokes. Her friends would laugh and watch me like some kinda spectacle. We didnt really fuck much but that was because I wasnt really in to her that way...she just didnt do it for me. I would blame it on my hip that I broke last winter and tell her that it was acting up or say I cant fuck as good as I used to because of my hip and I felt embarrased. We were just good friends and still are to this day.
Through the weeks the house started to shape up. We would spend our evenings on the front porch of the apartment with her friends drinking playing asshole. She had tons of liquor at her apartment leftover from all the parties she used to throw. It was beer and Jameson for me man. God I used to hold court out there, drunk making people laugh. They thought I was so laid back and couldn't fathom it. I'll tell you that it was from not working and all that sun and weed. They would go to bed and I would watch TV or some movies that I rented down the street. That was the best video store I have ever been to and I miss it greatly.
Moving day was coming and while they were at work I would pack there things up for them in boxes, while I drank and sleeping in till two. By this time I was barely fucking her it all and she used to try and coax me but I just wasnt having it. I barely kissed her. Sooner or later she got the picture and I was just some friend of hers that was living there rent free. I dont know if she considered her my girlfriend but I will get into that later.

old ass lady

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MOMMA
DEAREST

one for the ages

why write?
just shut yer
damn
mouth

sensitivo

sometimes when you have an image of something in your brain, you dont want to ruin it with words. The image in your mind is too pure and when you try to express it in words, you can only ruin it. Its too perfect in your mind...why ruin it?

but i lied
lets ruin it...

you hold its
hand
tell
the gashed forehead
that it will
be ok
walk it home and throw
it
in
a drawer
forever
dont cry
baby
we
all cry
I will be here
for
you now

introducing my site to people that I dont know (A conversation)

"oh, burn me that cd."
"I like them."
"Oh, so do I."
"If you like them you will like..."
"yeah, cool."
"You should check out my BLOG."
"Oh, ok, give me the site."
I write the shit down.
'Well, if you read it you might think I'm crazy."
"I mean, what is it about?"
"Debauchery, at its finest."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, I am warning you, my friend. Be fore warned (what ever that means.)
"I think I will be ok."
"Well, fine. I'm just warning you. Its kinda raunchy. I talk about SEX, DRUGS, DRINKING, and believe it or not, SMOKING."
"It's ok...I can deal with that."
"Tell me what you think."
"I will."
"I dont want to see you the next day and you think that I'm coo-coo."
I swirl my finger around my temple indicating the "crazy" sign.
"Don't worry...I doubt that I will think you are crazy or offending."
"Good luck, there, buddy. I wish you the best."
"Thanks."

4/5 time

yeah its quite
possible
that I may
drink too much

I know what
bottles
are twist offs
and which ones
need a beer opener.

i have mastered
the cigarette
lighter opener
for beer

People are wowed
when I do this
but its something
that I learned
when I was ninteen.

so it's nothing to me
when I use the lighter
it pops like chamapgne
or sparkling wine

People think
I'm good with my hands
or that maybe
I'm the one that invented
this way of opening things.

but I learned from the pros
and they are all dead
or possibly
drunk right now

imagine the pointless signs

In the backyard
the trash cans are still
but the "Beware of The Dog"
sign rattles in the wind.

I need to replace that sign.
"Beware of the Cat"
or
"Beware of the moody
drunk."
would suit this household
better.

Or possibly,
a "Leave Me The Fuck Alone,"
sign would be even better.
Or maybe even a "Fuck Off"
sign might fit the picture.

Or maybe a "Can I borrow 5 bucks?"
sign
or "Yo, you gotta an extra cigarette?"
sign
or "Do you wanna clean my kitchen?"
sign,
maybe.

All the signs will rattle against the fence
in the wind and get hit by falling acorns
and nobody will notice
the signs as they walk down the alley
with thier heads down

So its pointless,
like all my requests
through the signs
that no one will see
and that will never
exist.